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| ....what was i thinking?......idiot
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| i think im starting to burn out. just feels like a storm is coming and all im doin is watching it get closer, waiting for it to come and hit. i dunno whats wrong with me. maybe im just expecting to much out of my life right now. i hate when i start to feel like this.
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| what am i doing? im known to be patient and to be stubborn. sometimes both at the same time. maybe that's the problem with me. im too patient and im too stubborn to realize it. how do you know when enough is enough? how do you know when to just move on? how do you know if you're just overreacting? how do you know if you're just giving up? gaaaaaah! i wish i knew. on one hand, i want to keep patiently waiting. on the other, i just want to know already. shit, sometimes i get the feeling that im just wasting my time now. damn, what the hell. there's that one saying that pops up " dont make someone your priority, when you're only their option " and then another saying pops up to counter that one " you never lose by loving. you lose by holding back " (or was it giving up?) i think im just starting to be conflicted. that or im just rambling and venting again. either way, thats whats been on my mind lately. i think i need to be more productive and keep myself busy. kinda miss goin to class now. school needs to hurry up and find me my damn site so i can start. this is what happens when you got nothin, but girls on your mind. why couldnt i just juggle different girls like other guys without feeling guilty bout it? geez, maybe i just need to get laid. who knows
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| what the hell is wrong with me today? i woke up and went to school; then i came home and took a nap. i wake up and i just feel like shit. whats going on? i mean, ill crack a smile and maybe chuckle at a joke, but afterward i just feel like shit. i dont want to do anything at all. i feel sluggish. all i want to do is nothing. i hate doing nothing though. granted i dont really go out as much, but even if i stay home i still find something to do. as of now, it feels as if i have a weight on my back. hell, im surprised i even feel like typing this out. meh, maybe itll just pass.
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| so in a blink of an eye, its already april. where did the time go? so lets do a recap of my new years resolutions
#1 - keep temper in check. (no road rage. no getting upset over lil things. just keep cool)
#2 - dont cuss as much or at all ( might be a lil tough)
#3 - stay in shape (eat healthy and exercise often..#3.5 - get 6 pack..crossing fingers with this one)
#4 - focus on school and graduate
#5 - be happy
hmmm. lets see how ive faired so far
#1 - still lose my temper from time to time, but ive been managing to keep it down with a lil help.
#2 - .....havent really made much progress with this one, but gonna keep on trying
#3 - i have to say im doin fairly well in this, but i still need to work on my stamina. did the irvine mud run a couple weeks back and lets just say i did more walkin then running.
#3.5 - im on the right track, its gonna happen
#4 - kinda strayed here and there, but im still pushin through. i should be graduating in bout 4 months
#5 - definitely 
much has changed from the last time i posted. met some awesome ppl that im proud to call my friends and im doin fairly well in school. just doin my thing and takin it all in in strides. though i really dont want to rush things and look to far ahead. i cant wait to see what the rest of this year brings for me.
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